pieces of me

When will there be a time where everything seems to be in the place that it should?

I thought maybe I have felt this before, but it was a mirage of excitement, that slowly blew away as fast as it came.

The dread and hope seem to cancel each other out.
I sit on the edge of my bed.
I place the puzzle of my life mentally in front of me and examine each piece.

The one that never fit.
The one that I never noticed.
The pieces that I forced together, and the pieces that I lost.
The one that I just can’t quite figure out what to do with it.
The one that was so easy to place.
There are the one’s I would rather just throw away.
And the one that I long for.
The one that made me cry until I laughed
and the one that did the opposite.


A scream
A corona at the beach
A heart jumping up my throat
A cigarette in the subway
A look from his blue eyes
A haircut that changed me completely
A friend I made for life
A silent cry
A downfall
A kiss that shook me to the core
A song that engraved itself into my skin
A longing to explore the world
A death that kicked me in my heart
A picture I snapped that took the breath from my throat
A night never to be forgotten
A love I long to feel
A happiness I wouldn’t trade for the world
A moment that made me truly feel
A book that moved me to write
A touch that shocked me to life
A heartache that cut deep

My past and present jumbled together and placed before me,

I smile at...

A life I cherish