tick

The pendulum swings back in forth, moving faster and faster. My stomach balls itself into a knot, as the ticking of the clock growls. The blood races inside my body, as I lay motionless, staring at the grandfathers old hands. Why are things seeming unimportant to me? I calm my unnerved fingers, who are searching for my red phone to call my friend Katie, and tell her I want to run away. I cannot take this routine everyday. Work at exactly 4:30 pm. Bills and money and time, all knocking around clumsily in my mind. I want to rip my grey muddled brain out and empty it out of these mundane worries. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that this is finally the moment God will appear magically to me in a white light, and point to my destiny. And I smile, and step into the vision, and walk off down the path where he pointed. But I open my eyes, and I am still laying in my blue bed.